advice – Cinders Magazine

Hear me Roar! Or, how I learned to deal with my anger at the world

This week we released a new issue of Cinders Magazine, our tenth publication if you can believe it! And in it I had some very strong opinions about today’s society and how I deal with my anger at it.

‘I am woman hear me roar’ is an anthem, both literally and metaphorically. It originally comes from the song ‘I am woman’ by singer-songwriter Helen Reddy, released in 1971. Since then it has become the calling card of the feminist movement. And given the events of the last year; the revelations, the horrible crimes that have come to light; the general attitude of the world towards women and their bodies: I’d say we need it now more than ever.

THE GLASS ceiling, #Me Too, gender quotas, sexual assault, microagressions. All of these issues affect different women in different ways. All of them make me want to roar at the sky on a daily basis. And among the world’s women, I’m one of the lucky ones. Those of us who were born cis-gendered, heterosexual and white need to accept and acknowledge that among women as a whole, we haxve privilege, and a lot of it. And this doesn’t mean that terrible things can’t happen to us, or that when they do, the trauma of those actions are diminished. But it does mean that we get given a start that is a couple of rungs up the ladder from other women.

We have to work a little less hard to get to the top. And that’s important to be mindful of when we are looking at our lives. Privilege is just that – a gift. It’s not something that other people want to take away from you – it’s something that they wish that they could share in. So it’s our job to constantly ask questions and learn from other women about their truth, about how we can help make a better world for each other. And then we can go on roaring for ourselves and for each other.

I don’t know about you, dear reader, but I have a lot of things that I want to be roaring about, all of the time. Every time I read a story about a girl who has been attacked; when I see hard working women abused for their jobs online; when I see the lengths some women have to go to be taken seriously in the workplace. And that’s just the macro scale. The big things that make my blood boil. There’s the small scale stuff too. The fact that if I pass a bunch of drunken men on a night out, they will make a comment. The fact that I get nervous every time I see a man walking near me when I’m walking back to my car at night.

The fact that if a sexist joke is told in my presence, people think it’s okay because they have prefaced it by saying ‘Now I’m not a sexist but .. .’ The fact that when I mention that I run a feminist pop culture magazine there are so many people that say: ‘Feminism? Isn’t that a bit extreme?’ Or ‘Are you just jumping on the bandwagon?’ Or ‘Oh, well I wouldn’t know anything about that, I don’t think I’d be interested in it.’ Sigh. I get angry and frustrated by the world around me all of the time. It boils up into a white hot ball, burns up inside and ends up hurting precisely one person: me.

Creativity is the best thing I’ve ever found for dealing with my own anger with the world.

Because those of you out there who are introverts know: inside anger doesn’t do us any good. And unfortunately for us, we’re not great at expressing outside anger all that well. I’ve tried all of the big things. I’ve tried breaking things. I’ve tried meditating at things. I’ve tried to ignore things. None of it works. None of it makes the white boiling ball go away. The only thing that I’ve ever found to be in any way effective is not breaking things, but making them instead. Creativity is the best thing I’ve ever found for dealing with my own anger with the world. I write a poem about my anger. I play my piano as hard as I can, hitting all of the keys too forcefully. I draw a picture with heavy black lines to emphasise what I’m feeling course through me.

I write a story about a girl who is stronger than the world around her. I make a short film about the pressures and anxieties that I deal with. I create a feminist pop culture magazine. In short, I roar. I roar with music and with art and with writing. I roar in a way that my brain will allow me to, in a way that I never regret, feel guilty or embarrassed about. I think it’s because making things doesn’t mean you have to stop being angry. You have to stay angry. The anger is in the thing I’ve created. And if it’s something permanent, then my anger is permanent too. And that’s the biggest relief there is. Because I’m able to put my anger into something constructive, into something new, I can walk away from it. I’ve thrown the big white boiling ball out of me and into something new. And it might not be great, it might not even be good. But it’s no longer in me, and that’s the important thing. I plan on staying angry, and I’ll keep on roaring for as long as I keep on creating. Because I am woman, and they will hear me roar.

Photograph of the author by Martin McDonnell.

Coping with the future – an interview with Stefanie Preissner

Stefanie Preissner is not a new name to the Irish writing scene, but is one that’s getting called all the more frequently. Through her work in theatre, her critcally acclaimed series, Can’t Cope Won’t Cope and her new book, Stefanie Preissner has gone from ‘one to watch’ to someone we’re all watching closely. We sat down with Stefanie to discuss writing, advice and the new season of Can’t Cope Won’t Cope.

1. Can you remember the first time you thought ‘I want to be a writer’?

No. I don’t think I have, even to this day, thought that sentence. I still feel like ‘writers’ are very serious, intellectual people and I’m just here in a café on my laptop. I wanted to be the first female Garda Commissioner, then I wanted to act, and now… while I still see myself as a performer I feel like I have too much to say to speak someone else’s words. The world is chaotic and the only way I can process it is to write. I’m just fortunate that I get the luxury of being able to combine what feels like a contribution to society and my passion.

2. Did you feel more pressure approaching season two of Can’t Cope, Won’t Cope, given it’s success in Season One? If so, how did you combat this?

Of course. I think that Season One hit a nerve and while it was good, I think it was received as ‘great’ because people hadn’t seen young Irish women represented on screen in that way. In season one, I was free to sort of write whatever I wanted but in Season Two I had to respond to the reaction to Season One. I think it’s inelegant and a sign of hubris to rebut every single criticism of your work, so I take criticism seriously. I don’t always react but I always consider it. And I had issues with Season One too. So I looked at what worked, and looked at how Ireland of 2018 is markedly different to that of 2015 and I went into the scripts with the intention of writing a show that was relevant and provocative.

3. Who do you identify with more, Aisling or Danielle?

I identify strongly with different parts of each of them. I identify with Aisling’s impulsiveness and her impatience. I identify with Danielle’s wishes to be a good friend, to be a good student, to put other people’s plans and needs ahead of her own.

4. What advice would you give them if you could speak to them?

I wouldn’t bother trying to give advice to Aisling, I’d be wasting my breath. I’d probably encourage Danielle to be a bit gentler on herself which would inevitably make her see the world and other people with more sympathetic eyes.

The world is chaotic and the only way I can process it is to write. I’m just fortunate that I get the luxury of being able to combine what feels like a contribution to society and my passion.

5. What was it like unveiling your innermost thoughts in ‘Why Can’t everything just Stay the Same?’

It was a beautiful luxury. Writing for TV, the scripts have to be so lean and the writing so sparse. It was a luxury, and – let’s be clear – an exercise in indulgence. I have always been paralytically indecisive. I ask my friends to confirm my opinions and to guide my tastes so it felt strange to commit opinions, feelings and thoughts to print but that’s why I have the caveat in there that I reserve the right to change my mind. And in one of the chapters “GENDERALISATIONS” I actually change my opinion half way through the chapter but I didn’t delete the first half because I think it’s crucial, if society is to progress in a meaningful, functional and empathetic way, that people are not held to things they have said in the past and they are allowed to change their views and grow if they choose.

6. Do you find you have to get into a different mindset when writing fictional series like Can’t Cope, Won’t Cope versus writing about your own experiences, like you did for your book?

Not really. They both come out of my head, my experiences and my imagination. Its more fun being able to construct a false narrative but it’s important in this day and age that we have books and art and theatre that use extreme truth. There’s too much fake news and lies out there. You don’t have to look further than Instagram filters to see it.

Its more fun being able to construct a false narrative but it’s important in this day and age that we have books and art and theatre that use extreme truth. There’s too much fake news and lies out there. You don’t have to look further than Instagram filters to see it.

7.You’ve spoken frequently about mental health and bullying, do you think creative outlets like writing have helped you deal with these experiences?

I mean, they help as much as a nice hot bath helps. But I think it undermines the experience of being bullied or depressed to think that creative outlets can solve the problem. It helps of course, to talk and process but the psychological weight of those things shouldn’t be undermined or underestimated.

8. What’s the best piece of advice you were ever given?

What other people think of you is none of your business.

9. What would you like to be working on next?

I have loads lined up for 2018 so I’m going to be working hard on taking breaks. I love my work. But I love not working too.

What other people think of you is none of your business.

Why Can’t Everything just Stay the Same is available in a bookshop near you now.

Animating Parvana – Nora Twomey on the making of The Breadwinner

Animator and inspirational woman Nora Twomey is one of the most impressive figures in the Irish film industry. After leaving school at just 15, Nora Twomey went on to graduate from the Ballyfermot College of Further Education animation programme and founded the incredible Cartoon Saloon animation studio with Tomm Moore, Paul Young and Ross Murray.The studio has reached international acclaim and has produced beautiful titles such as The Secret of Kells and Song of the Sea. Today sees the Irish and UK release of their latest feature, The Breadwinner. Based on the acclaimed novel by Deborah Ellis, it tells the story of young Afghan girl, Parvana, who is living under Taliban rule in Afghanistan and disguises herself as a boy in order to earn money for her family. Nora took this on as her first solo directing feature which earned her an Academy award nomination. We spoke to her prior to the Oscar nominated movie’s release about animation, directing and the story that inspired her to tell this truly unique tale.

What was the journey from page to screen for the Breadwinner?

Nora: We spent about five months crafting the screenplay and then about a year crafting the storyboard, making sure the film was layered and subtle.

We worked with Deborah Ellis herself to make sure she was okay with what we were going to do with the characters but she was very excited for us to take Pavana into a new medium.

Then we worked with Anita Doron, the screenwriter. That was important for trying to find an emotional arc for the film without over-packing it or over-cluttering the film but getting the same sense when you watch the film as you do when reading the book.

The opportunity to tell Parvana’s story and put it up on the screen was something very precious to me I felt.

What was your idea when it came to character design and artwork?

Nora: We wanted to make sure that we honoured the look and feel of Afghanistan as much as we could and we wanted to honour the look and feel of Deborah’s book as much as we could. We always knew that we wanted the world that Parvana inhabited to feel really real. We wanted the animation to be quite subtle to hold a character like Parvana because we wanted to make sure that she felt Afghan. So she’s a character who would put the needs of her family above her own needs, she’s also someone who mightn’t express everything she feels as she feels it, as you might see with Western kids. For Pavana you can see a light in her eyes, you can see that she’s taking everything into consideration but she’s not expressing it openly.

We wanted it to feel in ways like an epic adventure, like you had to catch your breath after watching it

We wanted the film to be very, very immersive, so even the way that we paint the background, it feels like Kabul in Afghanistan but it also feels very immersive, we wanted to make the film look as beautiful as we could possibly make it so that people take on the journey with Parvana. We wanted it to feel in ways like an epic adventure, like you had to catch your breath after watching it.

Nora Twomey Self Portrait caricature — Nora’s self portrait.

What was the experience like as your first solo directing feature?

Nora: It was interesting, in a way I was already well into the process before I said I was directing it! When I read Deborah’s book I just got completely carried away about making this film. I was into it a fair bit before I realised that I was in charge of a massive crew, working over three different countries . It was a tremendous challenge to be sure but it was one that I stretched quite a bit with. Your job as director is to identify all of the skills and talents of everyone you are working with and making sure that those skills and talents are used to the best of their abilities in service of the character Parvana and the story. Your job is to make sure that you know the character and make sure that everything the team do is always in service of the character and in the service of the audience.

We’re seeing more and more female directors emerge and tell their stories, was it refreshing being able to tell this story with your own voice and create The Breadwinner from your perspective?

Nora: Absolutely it was. As one of the founders of Cartoon Saloon I’ve been working with directors for nearly two decades now. Half our crew in Cartoon Saloon are female and I really do my best to encourage young women coming up through the industry and in our company to try and continue moving up through the different disciplines, on from being a supervisor to being a director for example. It’s important to do so. When I started out in college I was one of four women in our year of 30 students and now I go to animation colleges and I can see it’s about 50-50. But making sure that women stay in the industry is that they stay encouraged and supported and hopefully in decades to come it will be a more equal situation and the stories that we tell will be better because they will be representing all of the population.

But making sure that women stay in the industry is that they stay encouraged and supported and hopefully in decades to come it will be a more equal situation and the stories that we tell will be better because they will be representing all of the population.

If you were giving advice to young people interested in joining the animation industry, what would it be?

Nora: I would say keep drawing, find other people who love drawing too. Keep storytelling, keep writing, whatever part of animation or the industry or filmmaking that you’re interested in, just keep on doing it. Keep reaching out, keep asking questions. The worst someone can say is no. So keep interested in it. But I would broaden that out to anything that you’re interested in. I always believe that if you do the thing that you love the most, then you’ll never work, you’ll always be having fun. It will be a challenge, but it will be interesting.

How do you hope that people will respond to The Breadwinner?

Nora: I would hope that they continue to ask questions. The film is aimed at young adults, but even children from the ages of 10 upwards into adults and I would love for young people to talk to their parents, or to their educators or to each other about life for people like Parvana. I would love the idea that a character like Parvana is up on the big screen, you know that you get to experience life through her eyes, that you get to see that she is is strong, she’s independent, but she’s also flawed, you know she’s a real girl. And for me it is wonderful to see a character like her on the big screen.

The Breadwinner is in Irish cinema’s from today.

06 The Breadwinner _Parvana and Shauzia_1920x1080 — Parvana and best friend Shazia.

See Cinders Magazine’s forthcoming issue for the interview in full to hear more about the animation process, directing, and Cartoon Saloon’s forthcoming projects.

Image credits to Cartoon Saloon and Nora Twomey for self portrait caricature.